Non Toy Gift Ideas for Toddlers (What We Actually Asked For)

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The question started coming in last week. Three people so far have asked what Lochlan wants for Christmas, and last year I said “oh, anything, really,” which is how we ended up spending January trying to find somewhere to put all of it.

He is twenty-one months old. He has enough. What he does not have is a pair of boots that will still fit him in March, or something to stand on so he can see the counter while I cook. So this year I had an answer ready before anyone asked.

These are the non toy gift ideas for toddlers that actually get used in our house. Not a list of fifty things. The handful I would ask for again.

The short version

A toddler does not understand a gift he cannot pick up and carry around. The things that land here are small, physical, obviously HIS, and in use before lunch on the same day. The things that fall flat are the ones that live in an envelope.

That does not mean experiences are off the list. I ask for those too. I just wrap something real alongside them so there is an object in his hands, and the card is for me and Danny to deal with later.

Things he can wear or carry

This is the easiest category and the one people are most relieved to hear, because it still feels like a present and it does not add a single thing to the toy shelf.

• Boots a size up. Ours get worn to pieces. I give the size he will be wearing in spring, not the size he is now.
• Mittens that stay on. The clip-on kind, two pairs, because one pair will be lost by January. I wrote more about what survives an Illinois winter in how to dress a toddler for winter.
• His own small backpack. He wants to carry things. He is going to carry them in something, and it may as well not be my purse.
• A water bottle with his name on it. Small thing. He is weirdly proud of it.

When someone asks for sizes, I give them. Vague answers are how you get a 4T coat in November.

Things that give him a job

Everything Lochlan wants to do right now involves being where I am and doing what I am doing. He does not want a toy kitchen. He wants to be AT the kitchen.

• A wooden step stool. If I could pick one gift off this whole list, it would be this. It turned the counter from a place he screamed at into a place he works at.
• A child-sized broom. Does he sweep? No. He drags it around and knocks into the dog. He also uses it more than any toy in the house.
• A small watering can. In spring he follows me out to the garden and waters the same square foot of dirt for twenty minutes. I will take it.
• His own wooden spoon and a small bowl. Real ones, not play ones. Toddlers know the difference.

This is the same thinking behind how I handle toys generally, which I wrote about in toy rotation for toddlers. Less out, more used.

Things that get used up

My favorite category, because in six weeks it is gone and there is nothing left to store.

• Chunky crayons and a big pad of paper
• Washable paint, the kind I do not have to think about
• Playdough, store bought or homemade
• Bath crayons
• Good flour, sprinkles, cookie cutters, the things we will use together anyway

These go a long way on the days when we are not going anywhere, which between December and March is most days. I keep a running list of what we actually do at home in toddler activities at home.

Experiences, and the part nobody mentions

A zoo or children’s museum membership is the single most useful thing anyone has given us, and I will ask for one every year we live through a Midwest winter. By February, somewhere warm and indoors that we can leave after forty minutes without feeling like we wasted the admission is worth more than anything with batteries.

Here is the part the gift guides skip. On the actual morning, a membership means NOTHING to a toddler. He cannot open it. He will not understand it. If the person giving it wants to watch him light up, they are going to be disappointed, and that disappointment is real and worth heading off.

So I ask for the membership and I ask them to wrap one small related thing with it. A board book about animals with the zoo pass. A bath toy with the swim lessons. Something in his hands, and the card underneath it.

The two I would skip

I would skip craft subscription boxes at this age. They are built for three and up, the projects need a grown-up sitting there for all of it, and a box arriving every month is one more thing on my list. In a year, maybe. Not now.

I would also skip personalized keepsakes. The engraved name puzzles, the embroidered stools, the custom prints. They photograph beautifully and they get used about twice. If someone is set on a keepsake, a photo book of people he knows is the one that actually gets handled, because it is a book and he treats it like one.

How I ask without making it weird

I used to dread this conversation. What changed was answering early, before anyone had already bought something.

I keep it short. I say he is in a stage where he wants to help with everything, give two or three specific ideas at different prices, and include sizes. I do not send a list of twenty links, because that reads like an assignment.

And I always leave room for one toy. People who love him want to see him open something fun, and that is a reasonable thing to want. Holding the line on everything is how you turn a nice gesture into a fight. I took the same approach to the rest of December in how to simplify the holidays.

Questions I get about non toy gifts for toddlers

What do you get a toddler who already has too many toys?

Something he can use the same day in the room where his family is. A stool, boots, art supplies, a real tool his size. The test I use is whether it has a job. Toys compete with the toys he owns. A step stool does not.

How do I ask grandparents for experience gifts without offending them?

Ask early, name something specific, and explain it in terms of what he gets rather than what you do not want in your house. “He would love the zoo with you” goes over better than “please, no more toys.” And say yes to one toy from them.

Are experience gifts worth it for a one year old?

For the child, honestly, not much at one. For the family, yes. A membership gets used all year and gets you out of the house in the worst months. Just pair it with something small to open so the morning is not confusing for everybody.

What non toy gifts actually get used past January?

Clothing and boots in the next size, anything that gives them a role in your daily routine, consumables, and books. The stool and the boots are the two things from last year still in use in our house.

Is it rude to tell family what to buy?

Not when they asked. It is only awkward when it comes as a rule nobody requested. If they have not asked and you want to steer it, it goes down easier as an idea than an instruction.

One more thing

Lochlan’s favorite object in this house is a wooden spoon. It cost about four dollars and it was not a gift from anybody. I keep that in mind every November when the question comes around again.

If you are putting your own list together this week, start with what your kid is already trying to do, and ask for the thing that lets him do it.